Today’s first reading taps into a deep fear, that if I make a commitment to God, God will take what is most dear to me, what I love the most, what I fear to live without.  A decision to call on God for aid that seemed strong, brave and bold in the moment backfires on Jephthah as he is ripped apart by the consequences of his rash vow.

It would be easy to critique the appropriateness of Jephthah’s vow, but that might cause us to miss that his daughter amazingly agrees to help him uphold his promise. Though she mourns a life that might have been, his daughter returns to help her father keep his vow and offers her life for the sake of her people. The rest of the story of Jephthah reveals that the memory of her sacrifice was honored by the women of Israel through the ages.

Mary’s yes to God combined both Jephthah’s holy boldness and his daughter’s supreme humility.  It must have been quite a jolt to receive Simeon’s prophecy when they were celebrating the fulfillment of much longed for prayers, but her heart was pierced as she watched and waited with her son as he made the ultimate sacrifice of his life for ours.

We don’t know much about Jephthah in the aftermath of his daughter’s death, except that he soldiered on, leading the Israelites for another six years as Judge. That he was retained as a leader leads me to imagine that his brashness must have been tempered, at least in dealing with his own people. Perhaps a spirit of mercy and compassion grew out of the loss of his beloved daughter.

We also don’t know for sure what happened with Mary. People must have recognized that her experience of the cross had a magnifying effect on her capacity for mercy and compassion. Traditions that grew over time suggest people recognized a spirit within her that became evident at the cross and prompted a desire to honor her as the mother of mercy.

We can’t always know where the consequences of our choices will lead — for ourselves and for those we accompany who face life changing decisions. Instead of becoming paralyzed by fear or dissociating from our emotions with stoic resolve, perhaps we need to ask for the grace or desire for the grace to allow our hearts to be pierced and broken. We pray that the mercy, compassion and love of Jesus can transform us so we might become instruments of his grace for the sake of others.

Mary, Queen of Heaven, come to our aid!

—Jenéne Francis, is Provincial Assistant for Pastoral Ministries, Chicago-Detroit   Province and Wisconsin Province